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But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady another drink?"Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"Why I Like Retirement!Question: How many days in a week?Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 SundayQuestion: When is a retiree's bedtime?Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.Question: How long does it take retirees to change a light bulb?Answer: It might take all. Obviously the pain had been terrible as he had worked. Suddenly it occurred to him that he was looking at a nude woman. He became aware of the small tight patch of curly golden pubic hair below her emaciated body.She looked at him as he looked at her body. "It's really pretty ugly, isn't it?" she asked softly."What is?" he replied."My body. It's the sorriest excuse for a female body you've ever seen. Rick, thank you. I know how hard it is to do what you are doing. It's really terrible to have to work on an ugly body, and they don't get any uglier than mine. Thank you for not laughing — or vomiting. Either reaction — or both — would be entirely appropriate."Rick, I think a couple of the ones in front are the worst. Particularly the one across my breasts — or where they used to be. It's pretty bad with infection. Why don't you let me do them myself? You already did the hard ones on my back that I couldn't reach. But I can reach these just fine. And you have to be getting sick just.
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